All the Way Down, Sir

X-Men: First Class (2011)
directed by Matthew Vaughn
rating: 2 out of 5 cravats
seen on the screen at AMC Waterfront 22

I have a hard time explaining why superhero franchises are popular, beyond the fact that they're reliable with regards to audience expectations. I haven’t overhead anyone quoting Thor this summer, just like no one quoted Iron Man 2 a year ago. Except for the decaying tie-in stock at comic book shops, little evidence even exists that anyone cares that Thor is still in theaters (or X-Men: First Class, for that matter).

As a rule, I don’t think comic books make good movies, any more than TV shows make good comic books. I can’t recall the last time I read a Marvel title, but it was probably Grant Morrison’s New X-Men run, way back in 2004. Both of Bryan Singer’s X-Men adaptations were out on video when I borrowed those trades, and for better or worse, X-Men and X2 remain the superhero movies I like best. People talk about Richard Donner’s Superman too much anyway, but Ian McKellen’s insidious apology to Patrick Stewart (“I’m sorry Charles. I couldn’t help it.”) approximates the possibility, tone, and absurdity of a single comic book panel better than... well, better than any other comic book movie I've seen.

First Class is appropriately silly, but it works because James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender play it like a buddy comedy. Fassbender, as Magneto, gets the best lines (I remember none of them), but every supervillain needs a stick in the mud to try and stop him. Neither reminds me of the heroes of the first two X-Men films at all, but that couldn't save you from this blind alley of nostalgia. Nor me; I've got the ticket stub to prove it.