Monday, July 30, 2007

You'll Hear About All of These Today

Born Yesterday (1950)
directed by George Cukor
rating: 3 out of 5 cravats
on DVD from Netflix

"Born Yesterday" is that all too typical sort of Hollywood stage adaptation, the preachy bore. It's like a jerk telling you how high-minded and wonderful Mr. Smith Goes to Washington is, but not showing you the clips of Jean Arthur smiling, or that city restaurant where newspapermen eat sandwiches. A condescending sermon, with the right philosophy, maybe, but no good reason to buy it. But lord does Judy Holliday show off the art of stretching a line.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)
directed by Steven Spielberg
rating: 4 out of 5 cravats
on DVD at JL's

The slap-sticky "Temple of Doom" isn't ever very good (unless it's Harrison's last great acting gasp in the ingratiating sneer he shows his Shanghai masters), but its sloppy nonchalance runs circles around the arrogance of Last Crusade Schindler's List.

Night of the Comet (1984)
directed by Thom Eberhardt
rating: 3 out of 5 cravats
on DVD from Netflix

An eighties movie about aliens and zombies that becomes, both in its final Anglo-Latino pairing and in the class-conscious conservatism the new couple immediately assumes, an endearing rejection of not just social norms but people, too. Young sis thinks of big sis as role model and competitor - when big sis wins out, young sis gets a guy with a convertible and hits the road. It isn't much but it's fun.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)
directed by David Yates
rating: 2 out of 5 cravats
seen on the screen at the Alamo Quarry

Clunky as the wrong pair of shoes (even worse as adaptation).

Alamo: The Price of Freedom (1988)
directed by Kieth Merrill
rating: 3 out of 5 cravats
seen on the screen at IMAX San Antonio

I can't think of an equivalent cultural phenomenon to this 45-minute made-for-Imax curiosity. Filmed in Brackettville, Texas - where John Wayne built a new, still-standing Bexar County for his own 1960 surrender to John Ford - it distills the most conventional telling of the Alamo legend to a sixty foot exercise in iconography. The movie's cast and crew are all unknowns, and sufficiently so, but that isn't the story. "The Price of Freedom" is about to begin its twentieth year in heavy daily rotation at the Rivercenter mall in downtown San Antonio. More than a clever promotional tie-in for packaged Alamo tours, the movie's longevity is best explained, I think, by being the better Alamo experience, which says a lot about many things in Santone, but lightheartedly.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Don't Kid Yourself

Knocked Up (2007)
directed by Judd Apatow
rating: 3 out of 5 cravats
on DVD from Netflix

It's to Apatow's credit that Pete and Debbie's marriage ends up as the failure they both fight for, but none of the reviews I read made the treatment of abortion central to their opinions of the film, so I feel like I have to. It's terrible when a mainstream subversive like Apatow (that title is intended to get your attention) gets a pass for demonizing abortion in a movie intended to make everyone a little more tolerant of unconventional relationships and families. Because Apatow doesn't just skip over the subject; he makes Alison's mom (who tells Alison to "get rid of it") a frigid, successful single woman, and Ben's dad (the always lovable Harold Ramis) the shaggy, well-meaning (thrice-married!) father whose warm-hearted advice to "go for it" sounds like the natural, right thing to do. And that, as they say, is just sad.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Karl Malden Please Stop Shouting

Baby Doll (1956)
directed by Elia Kazan
rating: 3 out of 5 cravats
on DVD at ELO's

There is something truly sinister in those original Benoit, Mississippi faces, and it's a nice take on repressed southern passions to cast them through the failing leaves of an early winter. You either go for Tennessee Williams or you don't - I will say it's a contrast to Regular Lovers, just like the "Rebel Yell" firework is a screaming contrast to a pretty cake-top sparkler.

Tango & Cash (1989)
directed by Andrei Konchalovsky
rating: 3 out of 5 cravats
on DVD from Netflix

It's funny, but Kurt Russell sliding down a modified backyard zipline on a prison set looks more impressive than anything computers have made for movies since forever. Can you believe the fake-looking animals in Evan Almighty were actually expensive? Or that Kurt and Sly's shower scene is what the trailer begins with? The late eighties were great enough to make Sylvester Stallone, of all people, the dignified comedic foil, and that makes the eighties great indeed.

Duck, You Sucker (1971)
directed by Sergio Leone
rating: 4 out of 5 cravats
on DVD from Syl

James Coburn is the right reason to see any movie, but his westerns show something the Our Man Flints of the world don't make clear. In "Our Man Flint," everyone around him likes Coburn's smile, but "Duck, You Sucker" and Pat Garrett put him at the social periphery, where the feet on the table emphasize the heroics of thought, consideration, and principled fatigue.

Hail the Conquering Hero (1944)
directed by Preston Sturges
rating: 4 out of 5 cravats
on DVD from Netflix

I'd avoided this and The Miracle of Morgan's Creek so long because I didn't want to feel the way I did once I'd watched it. What's the fuss? And not that it isn't funny and a little romantic (thank you, Ella), but people talk about Sturges like he was our lone cinematic ironist in a wasteland of popular Dullsville hacks, when in reality Eddie Bracken's mama's boy ends up a lot like he started, sort of sappy and self-involved and maybe mayor but still boob of a pretty schmaltzy American small town.