Monday, May 29, 2006

Movie Review - Wedding Crashers

Wedding Crashers (2005)
directed by David Dobkin
rating: 3 out of 5 jalapeños
on DVD from Blockbuster

Romantic, cynical, and yes, pretty funny, but can't someone give Bradley Cooper a break from playing Bradley Cooper? He's a bad foil, and worse than that, obvious in a movie that avoids the usual ungainly show stoppers (like the hero's renunciation of his old philandering ways). Owen and Vince move on, or grow up, but they still give Will Ferrell/Antoine Doinel his due.

Movie Review - X-Men: The Last Stand

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
directed by Brett Ratner
rating: 1 out of 5 jalapeños
seen on the screen at Downtown Boise Edwards Stadium 9

What do you say about the movie that has everything and nothing at all?

Friday, May 26, 2006

Movie Review - Superman II

Superman II (1980)
directed by Richard Lester & Richard Donner
rating: 3 out of 5 cravats
on DVD from Blockbuster

I can attribute all three peppers for "Superman II" to Terence Stamp's fey General Zod. The whole of planet earth at its knees, and the Phantom Zone's most illustrious escapee can only keep repeating himself: "Kneel! Kneel! Kneel before Zod!" That's a respectable sort of egomania, eager and absurd. He's bored almost immediately, but not me.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Movie Review - Superman

Superman (1978)
directed by Richard Donner
rating: 3 out of 5 jalapeños
on DVD from Blockbuster

Clark Kent's decision to not reveal his identity to Lois Lane in her rooftop apartment is a good reason why "Superman" remains an emotional film. Plenty of other decisions - Hackman's Luthor, Kidder's poem - are terrible, but I like the size and simplicity of Krypton.

Brando goes pound for pound with Superman's hometown on both girth and downplay. He's a great fat actor, with an "S" on his chest and a cave full of crystals.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Movie Review - 2046

2046 (2004)
directed by Kar-Wai Wong
rating: 5 out of 5 jalapeños
on DVD from the vaults

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Commentary Review - Dazed and Confused

Dazed and Confused (1992)
Commentary by Richard Linklater
rating: 4 out of 5 jalapeños
on DVD from the vaults

Rick takes a flight from Austin to New York City, catches a cab from the airport to the office, and sits down in a chair opposite Peter Becker's desk. He starts talking about how excited he is that Criterion's taking on "Dazed and Confused." Maybe he mentions what he saw out of the airplane window, or how someone beat him to his cab. Peter eventually interrupts Rick and says he's sorry but they're really on a deadline with this DVD, and would Rick mind heading right into the studio? "No, no," says the director, "of course not." He waits for ten seconds. "So I'll just head on in there."

Something happens, anyway, and Rick starts the commentary out of breath. The nicest thing he says is how much he wanted "Dazed and Confused" to play in the sort of small rural towns where it's set. It didn't, and he clearly still bears the responsible producers a grudge. Funny depressing. Funny serious. Funny ha-ha.

Best line: "I was not taken seriously as a director on this movie."

Best "Dazed and Confused" cameo: "Hey, fuck her! I did!"

Worst CB handle for a Huntsville freshman without a CB: "The Low Rider"

Monday, May 15, 2006

Movie Review - Lost Highway

Lost Highway (1997)
directed by David Lynch
rating: 4 out of 5 jalapeños
on VHS from As Seen On TV

"After Siskel and Ebert gave the film a negative review, David Lynch issued a new poster calling the thumbs-down verdict 'two more reasons to see Lost Highway.' Asked for his opinion, Gene Siskel said, 'I found it petty.'"

The next time you're at the video store, and you don't know what to rent, think "David Lynch: a cinch in a pinch." Or any day of the bright year.

Movie Review - In The Mood For Love

Fa yeung nin wa (2000)
directed by Kar-Wai Wong
rating: 4 out of 5 jalapeños
on DVD from the vaults

My years-ago introduction to Nicole Kidman's favorite director, most often the Kar-Wai Wong film I loved most, now relegated to third. I think that's because "In The Mood For Love" is a movie about a city in a man's youth (or before it), a testament to cheongsams and social codes, and not, in the end, l'amour. The principals' languorous inaction makes for a romantic swoon so unrealized it's frustrating, with none of the sex, none of the damage, and just a little timelessness. It's immediacy's the kicker, however lithe the girl.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Movie Review - The Killing of a Chinese Bookie

The Killing of a Chinese Bookie (1976)
directed by John Cassavetes
rating: 2 out of 5 jalapeños
on DVD from the vaults

If a great Cassavetes movie can't make me like John Cassavetes, then Opening Night, as the honored last title in Criterion's box set, is going to sit on the shelf a long time. "Bookie" makes Cosmo a sympathetic, selfish sap, a nightclub owner happy to kill to save his own life - not some ideal, not his girls, not his club. It also takes much too long to do it.

I reiterate that Cassavetes (Jefty!) was surely a humorless guy; his fans sure seem to be.

Movie Review - The Dark Corner

The Dark Corner (1946)
directed by Henry Hathaway
rating: 3 out of 5 jalapeños
on DVD from Netflix

"Kathleen," more than Lucille Ball, is this noir's saving grace. She's a secretary who's into the idea of a courting employer; she cleans up after an ugly murder; she flies true. Only I can't help but think that Mark Stevens' Bradford Galt gave dropping LB for his double-crossing ex-partner's darling Clementine at least a thought in her helpless, broken final scene.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Movie Review - Days of Being Wild

A Fei jing juen (1991)
directed by Kar-Wai Wong
rating: 5 out of 5 jalapeños
on DVD from the vaults

"I said once that I wouldn't know which woman I loved the most until the end of my life.

"I wonder what she's doing now?"

Probably watching "Days of Being Wild."

TV Review - Veronica Mars

Veronica Mars (2004)
Ep. 5 - "You Think You Know Somebody," directed by Nick Gomez
Ep. 6 - "Return of the Kane," directed by Sarah Pia Anderson
Ep. 7 - "The Girl Next Door," directed by Nick Marck
Ep. 8 - "Like A Virgin," directed by Guy Norman Bee
Ep. 9 - "Drinking The Kool-Aid," directed by Marcos Siega
rating: 2 out of 5 jalapeños
on DVD from Andy

Maybe what Joss Whedon loves so much about this show is how much of a pass a writer can get by having his characters uncover clues and plot points on the Internet. If my apartment had Internet access, you can bet I'd pay even less attention to "Veronica Mars" than I already am.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Movie Review - The Lady and the Duke

L'Anglaise et le duc 2001
directed by Eric Rohmer
rating: 3 out of 5 jalapeños
on DVD from the vaults

The closest a Rohmer movie can get to watching paint dry, I guess. The backdrops are beautiful, the camerawork the same, but Grace Elliott lacks Delphine's rosy heart. Famous as a mistress to famous people, here she's without any love at all. She's the independent spirit that Rohmer never wrote, believing, as he always did, that everyone needs somebody.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Movie Review - An American Haunting

An American Haunting (2006)
directed by Courtney Solomon
rating: 1 out of 5 jalapeños
seen on the screen at Malco Oxford Studio Cinema

"Ghost story" should never, ever mean "metaphor." Real superstition deserves honest appraisal, not the inept modern mirror it receives here.

Old Donald does his best, though. What a waste.

Movie Review - Triple Agent

Triple Agent (2004)
directed by Eric Rohmer
rating: 3 out of 5 jalapeños
on DVD from Netflix

I rescind my one-time accusation of too much politics in "Triple Agent," as it's now more clearly a dusty front for Rohmer-as-usual. But the absence of youth's romantic uncertainty means an ungainly pessimism in old age. If you believe, as I do, that Rohmer is wonderful precisely because he has never imposed gloomy Fate on his heroes and heroines, then, like me, you'll find yourself a little sad.

Movie Review - Mission: Impossible III

Mission: Impossible III (2006)
directed by J. J. Abrams
rating: 1 out of 5 jalapeños
seen on the screen at Malco Oxford Studio Cinema

If a buoyant heart, three bottles of beer, and two T. J. Mackey infomercials can't save Abrams' sinking ship, it's time to follow the rats back to the bar.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Movie Review - Le Rayon Vert

Le Rayon Vert (1986)
directed by Eric Rohmer
rating: 5 out of 5 jalapeños
on DVD from the vaults

Maybe it's an empathy for unlikeable people, or maybe a winning over. Or maybe the cards Delphine finds in the street or on the beach, like pirate treasure. Rohmer's places are pedestrian, his conversations plain, but the casual fairy tale, the odd superstition, all accrue. Even the plaintive melody transforms, not in sound but effect. The revelation is magic, and it's allowed to be.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Movie Review - The Naked Jungle

The Naked Jungle (1954)
directed by Byron Haskin
on DVD from Netflix
rating: 10 out of 5 jalapeños

Words can't convey what a deranged, otherworldly masterpiece of masculine sci-fi insanity this is. Even Charlton Heston must be mystified by the jungle psyche he channels full-throttle against Eleanor Parker and the South American wilderness from opening credits to close, and if I see a more entertaining movie this year, I will personally eat Christopher Leiningen's wide-brimmed hat. Truly a ten.

Movie Review - Road House

Road House (1948)
directed by Jean Negulesco
rating: 4 out of 5 jalapeños
on VHS from As Seen On TV

First, "Jefty" gets said at least a hundred times by everyone who speaks in this movie. It's printed on the side of Jefty's car, and in big neon letters on top of Jefty's road house.

Richard Widmark is Jefty. When Jefty goes crazy two-thirds in, Widmark turns lunatic. Which is absolutely alright.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Movie Review - Hell's Angels

Hell's Angels (1930)
directed by Howard Hughes
rating: 4 out of 5 jalapeños
on DVD from Netflix

There's no mistaking the central Yankee triad of "Hell's Angels" for three Brits, Harlow's can-do and pluck notwithstanding. And that's to Patriot Hughes's credit. It all begins a sort of barely sound-era melodramatic mash, then escalates to something political, fierce, and heartbreaking. And fun, to top! So goddamned American!

Monday, May 01, 2006

Movie Review - Elevator to the Gallows

Ascenseur pour l'échafaud (1958)
directed by Louis Malle
rating: 3 out of 5 jalapeños
on DVD from the vaults

This superficially ponderous, not-quite-cool-enough French melodrama seems, in retrospect, like a pretty funny movie. The insistent frustration of plain bad luck manifests a steady outburst of slapstick knee-jerks, eye-rolls, and self-deprecation from a cast of mostly humorous character types. I just can't tell if that's intentional or not.

Good, too, if you need to know why Truffaut's Jeanne Moreau is such a revelation in Jules and Jim.