Headbanger's Ball

Hardware (1990)
directed by Richard Stanley
rating: 3 out of 5 cravats
on DVD from Netflix

Hardware is a time capsule from 1990 served on a platter to anyone who wants to be smug about it. It isn't until Dylan McDermott strips down for a shower with Stacey Travis that you realize one of his hands is "robotic," meaning you see a Power Glove caress those bare shoulders as the dirt from months in a post-apocalyptic desert washes from our hero's hair. There's even a midget from Willow to capitalize on Willow's already meager success.

But why is Elements of Crime canonized in the Criterion Collection while people like me dismiss Hardware for a glorified music video? The truth is, Richard Stanley does a lot with very little, and although Hardware is essentially one long drawn-out fight between a murderous cyborg and a red-headed artist in her heavily fortified apartment, effort saves the day. All those filters make it moody, the camera tricks come fast and furious, and close-ups of actresses' eyes do just as much justice to Stacey Travis as they do to one of Lynch's girls. I won't say it isn't stupid, but it's fun.