Ego Trip as Weekend Getaway

Cobra (1986)
directed by George P. Cosmatos
rating: 3 out of 5 cravats
on DVD from Cinefile Video

The issue of responsibility for Americans’ negligence of Vietnam veterans is complicated, so First Blood was a movie that sympathetic action fans of all political stripes could enjoy. Cobra articulates a decidedly more conservative worldview – Dirty Harry would be proud – but that’s no reason not to watch. Proto-fascist law enforcement officers might be a little heavy-handed for your everyday criminals, like the friendly Latinos who make the mistake of usurping Sly’s parking space near the boardwalk, but all a good screenwriter needs to do is gift those crazy cops the right sort of nihilistic homicidal opponents to chain-fight in a foundry.

One exchange in particular, between Stallone and then-girlfriend Brigitte Nielsen, spells out the problem facing John Grisham every time he goes to work. Men like Stallone catch the bad guys, but lawyers like Matt Damon can’t wait to set them free.

“Why can’t we lock them up forever?” asks Ingrid the model.

“Tell it to the judge,” Marion “Cobra” Cobretti replies.

And I’m not laying this on as thick as it sounds, either. Cobra has a sense of humor, and that’s good enough for me. When a member of Night Stalker’s gang threatens to blow up a grocery store, Cobretti shrugs in his skin-tight T. “That’s okay,” he mumbles. “I don’t shop here.”