Time to Make the Donuts
Bandidas (2006)
directed by Joachim Roenning & Espen Sandberg
rating: 2 out of 5 cravats
on DVD from Netflix
Penélope and Salma, I guess, are friends. They thought it would be fun to make a movie together and commissioned their mutual pal Luc Besson to write one for them. The finished product went straight to video, in spite of Penélope's Mr. Ed, in spite of Sam Shepard ("I'll act in your movie if you ask me to"), and - the greatest crime of all - in spite of the spirit of two entitled actresses using their clout to just plain fuck around. "Bandidas" is a terrible movie, but it must have been a great vacation.
"Shooting Old Shep" by Frederic Remington
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)
directed by Gore Verbinski
rating: 2 out of 5 cravats
seen on the screen at Malco Studio Cinema
The third time around, there's no call for complaints - you know exactly how long those 168 minutes will feel. So I'm happy to say I enjoyed myself, just like you're supposed to at these things. Was it Keith Richards? The monkey shot out of the canon? Was Keith the monkey or was the monkey Keith? Did Bore-lando even notice either one?
Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
directed by Guillermo del Toro
rating: 2 out of 5 cravats
on DVD at JL's
It isn't that the heart of Pan's Labyrinth is insincere. Del Toro is that at least. But I don't think he's graceful enough for a fairy tale, which should be gentle or else a nightmare. Capitán Vidal has no place in a story like that - not the man with his father's watch, anyway.
And allegory? Bah!
directed by Joachim Roenning & Espen Sandberg
rating: 2 out of 5 cravats
on DVD from Netflix
Penélope and Salma, I guess, are friends. They thought it would be fun to make a movie together and commissioned their mutual pal Luc Besson to write one for them. The finished product went straight to video, in spite of Penélope's Mr. Ed, in spite of Sam Shepard ("I'll act in your movie if you ask me to"), and - the greatest crime of all - in spite of the spirit of two entitled actresses using their clout to just plain fuck around. "Bandidas" is a terrible movie, but it must have been a great vacation.
"Shooting Old Shep" by Frederic Remington
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)
directed by Gore Verbinski
rating: 2 out of 5 cravats
seen on the screen at Malco Studio Cinema
The third time around, there's no call for complaints - you know exactly how long those 168 minutes will feel. So I'm happy to say I enjoyed myself, just like you're supposed to at these things. Was it Keith Richards? The monkey shot out of the canon? Was Keith the monkey or was the monkey Keith? Did Bore-lando even notice either one?
Pan's Labyrinth (2006)
directed by Guillermo del Toro
rating: 2 out of 5 cravats
on DVD at JL's
It isn't that the heart of Pan's Labyrinth is insincere. Del Toro is that at least. But I don't think he's graceful enough for a fairy tale, which should be gentle or else a nightmare. Capitán Vidal has no place in a story like that - not the man with his father's watch, anyway.
And allegory? Bah!
posted by NPK at 8:26 AM
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