Spring Training
Phantasm (1979)
directed by Don Coscarelli
rating: 5 out of 5 cravats
on VHS from As Seen On TV
Is it horror movies' willingness to look ridiculous that makes them this carefree? Is that why a kid running out of a mausoleum at night reminds me most of Les Mistons (seriously)?
In Phantasm, there's even grace in the actors' names. The Tall Man, played by Angus Scrimm? Just incredible.
I Was A Male War Bride (1949)
directed by Howard Hawks
rating: 4 out of 5 cravats
on VHS from As Seen On TV
The big joke here is that Cary Grant plays a French officer but might as well have just walked in from the editor's desk in His Girl Friday. Much funnier is two acts worth of right-on-the-surface rebuttals to those dogging claims that the bachelor pad Cary shared with Randolph Scott between marriages made them "just friends."
Elf (2003)
directed by Jon Favreau
rating: 3 out of 5 cravats
on DVD from As Seen On TV
The part of me that laughs at Zooey Deschanel in the shower again got lost for the size of James Caan's Christmas ham heart. That "goodbye" from Mr. Narwhal is one heavy-lidded kid away from someone with a soft voice reading Goodnight Moon, and that's a memory I'd almost forgotten.
The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946)
directed by Tay Garnett
rating: 4 out of 5 cravats
on DVD from As Seen On TV
More than some sad small-time California power plays, The Postman Always Rings Twice makes the most of weather: hot winds, fog, warm evening swims. The structure is built less on coincidence than a paranoid's fear of law enforcement, and everyone's so unhappy. It's like driving through a hurricane to reach the center calm; a white blouse, a white swimsuit, white paint on a rotten beam.
Thunder Road (1958)
directed by Arthur Ripley
rating: 5 out of 5 cravats
on DVD from Netflix
Romanticize Thunder Road too much and you and the movie get ahead of yourselves. The world you want isn't poverty and desperation - just a drive-in and a summer night and maybe the chance, one time, to give a pretty girl change for the jukebox and not be there when she picks a song and turns around. In Memphis, no less.
Pulp (1972)
directed by Mike Hodges
rating: 1 out of 5 cravats
on DVD at JL's
After thirty years, sarcasm and condescension age into bleached bones in the Malta sun. Is it the strain of royal succession that makes British sex such a chore?
directed by Don Coscarelli
rating: 5 out of 5 cravats
on VHS from As Seen On TV
Is it horror movies' willingness to look ridiculous that makes them this carefree? Is that why a kid running out of a mausoleum at night reminds me most of Les Mistons (seriously)?
In Phantasm, there's even grace in the actors' names. The Tall Man, played by Angus Scrimm? Just incredible.
I Was A Male War Bride (1949)
directed by Howard Hawks
rating: 4 out of 5 cravats
on VHS from As Seen On TV
The big joke here is that Cary Grant plays a French officer but might as well have just walked in from the editor's desk in His Girl Friday. Much funnier is two acts worth of right-on-the-surface rebuttals to those dogging claims that the bachelor pad Cary shared with Randolph Scott between marriages made them "just friends."
Elf (2003)
directed by Jon Favreau
rating: 3 out of 5 cravats
on DVD from As Seen On TV
The part of me that laughs at Zooey Deschanel in the shower again got lost for the size of James Caan's Christmas ham heart. That "goodbye" from Mr. Narwhal is one heavy-lidded kid away from someone with a soft voice reading Goodnight Moon, and that's a memory I'd almost forgotten.
The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946)
directed by Tay Garnett
rating: 4 out of 5 cravats
on DVD from As Seen On TV
More than some sad small-time California power plays, The Postman Always Rings Twice makes the most of weather: hot winds, fog, warm evening swims. The structure is built less on coincidence than a paranoid's fear of law enforcement, and everyone's so unhappy. It's like driving through a hurricane to reach the center calm; a white blouse, a white swimsuit, white paint on a rotten beam.
Thunder Road (1958)
directed by Arthur Ripley
rating: 5 out of 5 cravats
on DVD from Netflix
Romanticize Thunder Road too much and you and the movie get ahead of yourselves. The world you want isn't poverty and desperation - just a drive-in and a summer night and maybe the chance, one time, to give a pretty girl change for the jukebox and not be there when she picks a song and turns around. In Memphis, no less.
Pulp (1972)
directed by Mike Hodges
rating: 1 out of 5 cravats
on DVD at JL's
After thirty years, sarcasm and condescension age into bleached bones in the Malta sun. Is it the strain of royal succession that makes British sex such a chore?
posted by NPK at 1:27 PM
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