"Sometimes it's worked and sometimes it hasn't, you know?"

Masters of Horror - Cigarette Burns (2005)
directed by John Carpenter
rating: 2 out of 5 cravats
on DVD from Netflix

Udo Kier channels his best Robert Osborne for a mediocre one-hour television show. In one of the extras, we get to see Carpenter laugh while Udo and the special effects team run a link of sausage casings through a film projector. Somewhere in my head I think of a place where John Carpenter directed a comedy instead of Halloween, but that's no consolation.